There was a time in my life where I regretted nothing. Looking back, I realize it's because at that point, I had done nothing.
I hadn't let moments take me over.
I hadn't kept quiet when I should have said something.
I hadn't made mistakes that affected people as much as they can now.
I hadn't lost something important to me.
Once life showed me the world, I learned how easy, how quickly, a decision can become a regret. I have losses in my life that I still mourn sometimes. Lately, the losses have felt worse than the gains felt better. Hence, the attempt to blog about things that make me happy. It helps, just not always.
I'm working on mourning and accepting the things that I've lost, instead of living in denial. Denial only stretches the pain, ending up with me doing something totally stupid that may buy more time with the guy or the dream. It leads to desperation, crappy self-worth, and the impossibility of moving on.
Some days are better than others. Today is one of the others.
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