It might be a while for both of us

I would have eaten my hand if I had to stay at work any longer. Gym just wasn't an option yet. I needed fuel. I needed Pho.
I was starving enough to decide on a solo dining experience. No time to text people, wait for them, and then watch them figure out what they 'felt like' while I try to suck nutrients out of my cheeks.

Thankfully, I found a book in the car. The girliest piece of gum there ever was (complete with makeup and hair tips weaved into the story). I walked in, sat down, grabbed the Help Yourself order sheet, and wrote furiously. Thankfully the place was somewhat empty, and the nice lady came straight away to pick it up. I ordered a beer, and sat back for possibly the longest wait of my life.

Across from my table sat a family of 5. Perfect soccer mom, sporty dad with a scruffy beard, and three blonde little ones under 6. I forgot about my book for a while and watched the baby consistently throw the car keys on the floor. The two older kids asked an array of irrelevant questions, and made up songs to what sounded like a MadLib gone wrong.

What happened? I was supposed to have that life. I'd planned for it ever since I could remember. Not a perfect wedding. Not the dream job. Not even a perfect husband. A family. 5 kids, ideally. Any woes in my life were easily soothed my fantasizing about coming home to a litter of towheads, making Kraft Dinner for lunch, having Taco Tuesdays, inventing cookie recipes, taking pictures at the backyard barbeque (I was still hungry at this point).

But I didn't have that. No, instead I was sitting by myself, drinking a beer, and obsessively checking my phone for texts. Oh, and reading a book that I imagine tasted like cotton candy. Once the food came, my sighs became less frequent.

As the family passed me in mid-bite - and for those who've had Pho, you know how unattractive this looks - the mom stopped in front of my table. I smiled with full cheeks. She smiled back. "You know," she said, "I couldn't stop looking over here. I don't remember the last time I had time to read a book with a drink. By myself. You are literally experiencing my dream dinner." With that, the little girl pulled her out the door.

I wonder if she remembers what it was like on the other side.